Boy oh boy is it time for a musing!!! I even have a few friends who have emailed me to ask me how I am since they haven't heard from me in a while. You are correct. You have not heard from me. I have been "too busy". Yep - back to that old hat.
Oh my gosh.... attempt number 12 or so on this one. I'm having so much difficulty navigating this one, so I'll just dive in and pray for grace.
Read MoreIt seems that when you come back from a 10 Day Silent Vipassana Meditation Course, you end up speaking a lot to describe the experience to curious folks. So I would like to share with you all my experience in writing :-)
YOWZAH!!!!! It was intense and amazing.
After a little talking to get you settled in on the check-in day, you are then silent for 9 days. You briefly talk to the teacher 1-3 times to check in with her and make sure everything is going okay and otherwise.... nothing. I was terribly frightened by this going in. Me? Chatty Cathy?? Talk in my sleep girl???
I thought I would have a ton of grief bubble up to the surface and have to face it head on.
Then I was taught the lesson of not having preconceptions, of not having expectations. AGAIN! For all the preaching I do about that one in class - I'm still human and very guilty of doing it myself.
Oh dear, where to begin. I'm not gonna lie - this year was rough. I feel like I have been in transition for a bit over a year now. I made the move to Walla Walla at the end of last year and I'm going to include that in my 2016 wrap-up.
I have lived in 2 states. I have lived in 3 homes. I have now had 4 different places of employment since arriving in Walla Walla. I got used to not having my kitties and then drove 20 hours to bring them to their new home here with me. I have lost Grampa Johnson, Uncle Jim, and Gramma Rhodes, in that order. Shall I go on...
Well you know me ~ I like to keep it heavy, deep, real, and apparently long. Those of you Walla Walla peeps who just joined my list, welcome to a truly intimate me. Christel TMI Johnson!
As many of you know I do these emails in order to reveal my struggles and hope that in doing so we all heal. Maybe hearing my story you don't feel so all alone. Maybe I can give you perspective on your struggles and you realize yours are not that bad off. What I've learned along the way is that I heal immensely when I share these things. Conversations get started and advice given. More than anything I get it off my chest and out in the open where I don't have to carry the weight alone.
Let's talk about sex shall we?!
I am so sick of feeling shame around sex. So I'm just gonna come right out with it. I love sex. I have had multiple partners. I have had one night stands. I had what I call a "promiscuous period" after breaking up with my first love. And everything I just listed are things I have been embarrassed by, don't really talk about, and feel tremendous amounts of shame over.